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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23892538">Just Throw That Crown In The Trash</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothMoth/pseuds/GothMoth'>GothMoth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Phantom Phang Phucking Phreaking Phantastical Phabulous Phic Phight Phics 2.0 (The 2020 Edition) [18]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Danny Phantom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Comedy, Crack, Danny's Up To No Good, Fuck The Crown, Gen, Identity Reveal, Reveal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:35:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23892538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothMoth/pseuds/GothMoth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>No one wants the damn ghost crown, deal with it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Phantom Phang Phucking Phreaking Phantastical Phabulous Phic Phight Phics 2.0 (The 2020 Edition) [18]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Phic Phight!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just Throw That Crown In The Trash</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/horseGhost/gifts">horseGhost</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div>
  <p>Valerie (in her Huntress suit) looks from Phantom, who just seemingly fell out of a bush laughing, to that vampire ghost Vlad asshole piece of shit, who was so stunned he actually passed out and fell to the ground, to the ghost with an eyeball for a head holding out a fucking flaming crown. “<em>What</em>???”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The eyeball holds up the crown more expectantly, like they’re trying to tempt a cat with a treat or something. “It is rightfully yours, Huntress”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie gestures around wildly, “I don’t want the thing!”, randomly deciding to just point to Phantom, he’s a decent enough guy, “give it to him!”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Phantom actually starts cackling when eyeball shakes their head? eye? whatever, and says, “you wore the ring last. So as such, the crown is yours. You are to be the new High Ghost Sovereign”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Fuck you I am”. Then turning to fly away only to immediately nearly crash into another eyeball ghost, who promptly shoves that glowing green ring on her hand. Needless to say she punches them and flies off as sporadically as she can purely to try and avoid any more of them. Yet these bastards seemingly know where she’s going to be and more of them<em> just keep popping up</em>! </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then getting aggressively yanked back by Phantom, whose grin is honestly painfully wide and slightly terrifying. Him sticking his tongue out at the eyeballs and saying, “byeeeeee”, before flying off and dragging her with him far faster than she thought possible. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Him seemingly yanking her around and changing directions like a freaking pinball machine. Electing to just squeeze her eyes shut and hold on for dear life, “PHANTOM YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU BETTER HAVE A FUCKING REASON OR PLAN!”. All he does is laugh very loudly. The bastard. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She doesn’t even question how the heck they got into the ghost zone, she doesn’t even <em>care</em>. At least there are no damn eyeballs. Yelping, which is nearly a scream, when Phantom phases her inside <em>a fucking rock</em>. Her then openly gaping, retracting her helmet, and unabashedly staring as Danny <em>Fenton</em> phases into the rock too, with a ridiculous grin plastered on his face. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny looks to her, “don’t even bother asking”, crawling over to her, “so, I assume you absolutely do feel like messing with those damn eyeballs?”, gesturing around/to the rock they’re inside, “don’t worry, ghosties can’t get in here. Only <em>humans</em> can phase through stuff in the Zone”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie shakes her head and blinks, “what the fuck Danny. That’s good?”, then smirking and leaning forward, “and yes I want to fuck with the crazy eyeball creatures trying to force a crown at me”. Danny chuckles with a grin. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Him laughing more when she notices the ring again and tries to yank the thing off. The thing does <em>not</em> come off. “Goddamnit! Stupid! Fucking! Ghost! Crap! Why! Won’t! You! Come! Off!”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny wheezes, “literally nothing! Is going to work! Haha wow”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie glares at him, “jerk”, and hits him on the arm. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny waves her off, “okay okay, I’m okay”, chuckling a little more, “alright, pissing off the eyeballs time. Haha, this is gonna be great”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie grumbles, “why do I feel you’re more interested in messing with the ghosts than helping me out?”. Which was fair, she usually was more interested in giving ghosts a very bad time than helping bystanders. Amity Parker’s knew how to look after themselves anyways.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny snickers, “oh because I really really really hate them? I’m still totally not over the whole attempted assassination thing. I mean come on right? Sometimes people just go crazy and need to annihilate humanity for a little bit. It’s no biggie. The apocalypse is just, like, a really long planetary vacation of death. It’s all good now. Never happened. Anyway, to Clocky we go, to fuck with the time stream!”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie gapes and sputters, “<em>what</em>???”, but just gets bodily flung out of the rock by Danny. Phantom grabbing her under the arms and zipping off again with a large grin and giggling. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She doesn’t even get a chance to question him about <em>anything</em> before they’re in some building made of clock bits and she’s getting dropped on a purple couch. Phantom points at her, “you should definitely hide inside the couch. Like, really”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>It takes a try or two but she does manage to phase through the thing. Though poking her head out, this is the weirdest goddamn thing ever, and watching when a cloaked ghost shows up and Phantom shouts, “eeeeeh Clocky! So pissing off the Observants <em>time</em>?”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The cloaked ghost grins almost menacingly, “any <em>time</em> is a good <em>time</em> for that”, and hands Phantom some dice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Phantom zips over and holds it out to her, “roll for your personalised paradox. The best way out of anything is to break the time stream or just straight-up cheat the universe”, waving her off, “but that’s Clocky’s shtick and doesn’t <em>really</em> work for anyone else”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie blinks, more than a few things clicking into place and becoming very obvious, whispering at him, “Danny what the fuck”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Phantom/Danny just shakes the dice in her face so she snatches them up with a grumble, “fucking half-ghost assholes”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Phantom/Danny chuckles, “oh I am <em>absolutely</em> an asshole. I am literally encouraging you to break time a little, just to be a dick to the eyeballs. I mean I totally get not wanting the throne, trust me, no one wants that shit. Why do you think they needed to come up with some bullshit rule of ‘last to wear the ring becomes the king’?”, shrugging loosely, “But arguably you would make a decent queen”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She blinks at him, “I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not”, then tossing the dice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Phantom/Danny chuckles, “me neither. Though I’ll tell ya, I’m sure as shit glad I’m not the ghost king guy. I wouldn’t be able to get out of that shit. Probably. Maybe. Most likely. Almost definitely”, shrugging, “my luck’s not exactly good. I mean, I <em>did</em> die. Twice. And fucked it up enough to only do it halfway both times. I mean, I’m more likely to get eaten by my breakfast, than actually eat my breakfast. I’ve broken more bones in the past week than hours I’ve slept”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie grumbles, “fuckin’ same”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oof. Mine probably heal faster”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She glares at him, “you think? My suit does help though”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Phantom/Danny absently saying, “that’s nice”, while looking to the dice. Grinning slightly, “very nice”, turning to ‘Clocky’ -that <em>can’t</em> be their real name- and giving a thumbs up, “one over-saturation style paradox on the rocks!”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie glaring slightly suspiciously -while still majorly inside the couch, which she thinks Danny told her to do purely to amuse himself. Hell, she’d bet money on that at this point- at the ‘Clocky’ ghost when they appear directly in front of her face and holding out a gloved hand, “your ring hand, Valerie”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She sends a glare at Danny, who waves her off, “I didn’t tell them shit. They’re omniscient. They knew your name before the planet had one”. Valerie decidedly gives the ghost -who’s probably better called a god- her hand. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny snickers every so often while tiny portals appear on/around the ring in rapid succession. Valerie <em>has</em> to ask, “what are you doing?”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The ghost grins wickedly, “sending you wearing the ring through every time, dimension, and universe that could ever or has ever existed. Effectively making you the rightful High queen of each. Including ones wherein you yourself do not exist”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie isn’t sure if she’s confused, pissed, or impressed. Mumbling, “how can I be ‘queen’, or whatever the fuck, where I don’t exist?”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny sticks up a finger, “you can’t! That’s the point! Either you’re queen in all of them due to the Observants rule, which is impossible. Or you’re not queen because of that rule. Obviously they can’t pick the option that’s impossible”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie replies very dryly, “obviously”. Danny was insane. Vlad was arguably also insane. Grumbling, “why are all half ghosts insane?”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The clock ghost chuckles faintly, “their minds are a combination of two species and they are factually impossible, thus constantly in a state of their bodies effectively trying to correct a major system error. That does not encourage sanity. Daniel is arguably quite functional and sane in that regard. Vladimir is only mildly sane”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie squints at them, “and <em>that’s</em> mildly concerning information to have”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny sticks his head next to hers, wide grin still in place, “that’s pretty normal for all the information they eagerly give out. It’s their special little way of instilling some terror. That, and threatening people with a scythe. That’s how we met! They tried to decapitate me! Even if it was an empty threat technically”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“The fuck Danny?”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny makes a face and points at her, blatantly ignoring the shrieking from deeper in the Zone, “hey now! All my close ones have tried to kill me once or twice. If I make a friend who <em>hasn’t</em> tried to off me that’s suspicious. Either they aren’t actually my friend or they’re going to try to obliterate me in the future”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The clock ghosts stops doing the portal thing to the ring stuck on her, while she tells Danny that, “your life? existence? whatever the fuck. Is <em>really</em> messed up”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny snorts, “don’t I know it”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Seconds later the clock ghost is suddenly in front of a bunch of mirror things, looking like they have absolutely nothing to do with the two teenaged superheroes in the living room? area. Just before two eyeball ghosts, Observants?, barge in and shriek, “<em>CLOCKWORK</em>!!!”. Resulting in Danny curling up and laughing, her being unable to help but join in after a beat. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny flips the eyeballs off, “I ain’t your damn king! Fuck you eyeballs!”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Valerie decides screw it and follows suit, “I ain’t your damn queen! Fuck you eyeballs!”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny then crossing his arms and resting his head on them with a sickly sweet smile, “betcha have a few regrets now, dontcha”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She can literally feel the glare from the Observants, but she honestly doesn’t give half a shit. No one is forcing her to be some goddamn ghost queen or whatever. Same goes for Danny apparently; who starts laughing as the clock ghost -ClckWork, she guessees- fairly rudely kicks the eyeballs out. This was probably ClockWork's house, lair, whatever. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny floats over, patting the ghost on the back and laughing. Before looking like an exclamation mark would appear over his head if this were a video game. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Zipping off and then back, gesturing a bottle at her and grinning, “celebratory ghost whine? It totally won’t poison you”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>She glances at it, fuck it, this day was complete bullshit already. Her ex was half freaking dead and absolutely was dating her while she was trying very hard to off him, he knew she was Red so secret totally out of the bag there, and a bunch of asshole ghosts tried to force a crown at her face. Today was a drink questionable shit kinda day. Snatching the bottle by the neck, “fuck you so much and fuck all these stupid goddamn fucking ghost”, and taking a swig straight out of the bottle. No goddamn way Danny gives a shit, she’s seen him literally eat underwear before. Bastard even had the gall to put fucking salt and pepper on it like that would do anything. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny laughs as she shoves the bottle back at him. Her snapping, “is that pure fucking lemon zest or some shit?”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny sips some and makes a blissed-out face, “ahhh the sweet sweet lemon pucker facefuck that is the nectar of death”. Then passing it off to ClockWork. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>So it was goddamn ectoplasm. Well alright then. Whatever. Fuck this shit. Taking the offered bottle from the ghost, “we have issues”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Danny snorts while she sips, “you think? Your not-highness”.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>She snorts right back, “I think the fuck I do think, your also not-highness”. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>
    <strong>End.</strong>
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Prompt Creator: horseGhost<br/>Prompt: Danny ISN'T the ghost kin</p></blockquote></div></div>
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